Author: Marta

Sent group email to Spanish speaking country teams. Reminding them to provide most important data so we can proceed with the project, especially pointing out the product list for guacamole, since it hasn’t been handed over since the very beginning. Meant Guatemala, didn’t notice the autocorrect until Mexican team sent me a recipe. Mexico may be my new favorites.

Newly met person: Should have guessed you’re Polish. You have that cute little Polish nose!

Me: Oh… haha… right!

*gets insecure about nose forever *

Step 1. Receive expensive Scotch as a gift.

Step 2. Drink it over time.

Step 3. Keep the bottle.

Step 4. Buy cheap supermarket whiskey and pour it into the fancy bottle.

Step 5. Serve it at a friends’ gathering without saying a word.

Step 6. Sit back and enjoy your smug self as they all admire the flavor, praise the superb oak undertones or even a slight chocolate note, are delighted with its supposed smoothness and all agree that, although super expensive, it is worth its price.

Step 7 (optional). Giggle a little.

Ladies and gentlemen, my father.

One of the biggest disappointments of my life is probably still the moment of realization as a kid, that Vengaboys were singing about going to Ibiza, not “We’re going to eat pizza”.

15yo me: *avoids calls from parents as much as possible*

31yo me: Hiiiiiii! It’s me! Why am I calling? Yes, I know it’s 8am on a weekend. Omg, have you seen the funny pic I sent you? Mom, are you there? Mom?!