‘Tis the season…

It’s winter. Minus 5 degrees. You’re walking down one of the main streets in the city, all wrapped up, seeing your breath every time you exhale. Suddenly, you notice a really hot girl. Absolutely stunning, Victoria’s Secret angel level beautiful. And she’s dressed to match that as well: skinny jeans, high heels showing off her bare ankles, tight short jacket leaving that small gap revealing a line of soft, perfect skin just above her jeans. She has the jacket unzipped, so you can see the deep neckline of her light blouse.And all you can think about is slowly walking up to her, putting your hands on her shoulder, looking her deep into those gorgeous eyes and…

…shaking the hell out of her, while loudly shouting “Do you want to get sick? DO YOU?!”

It’s tradition

Setting up the Christmas tree with dad:

Me: Alright: it’s stable, has lights, tinsel, a million baubles, ribbons, star on top, and I’m covered in glitter… I think we’ve got everything. What now?

Dad: Now we wait for your mother to come back from work and tell us what we did wrong.